girl is W-H-I-T-E...

Hailey wanted me to post this video on here. Which will someday be used to embarass her no doubt. :) Ignore my singing in the background...sorry. ENJOY!!

I love the little feet kicks at about 37 sec. hehehe :)

One day at a time

As you can tell from his obituary one of Jeff's main loves was music. Music is something that is well rooted in my family. We grew up listening to my grandpa play guitar in a Cajun band and many of us have followed his example and picked up a guitar and learned to play. We joke all the time about starting a family band. :) Jeff by far was probably they most talented. I can play but when i want to learn a song I have to have the music in front of me and break it all down and practice things over and over before i can finally get it. And then I can only remember it if i play it all the time. Jeff could hear a song once and play it for you. It could be something that he heard once, along time ago, and he could nail every note. He had a genuine gift for music. It was amazing and something that i will miss the most about him. To honor his love of music my mom and her siblings had his guitar displayed in this BEAUTIFUL arrangement that was on his casket. It was perfect and i know Jeff would have LOVED it!!!

Sunday some of Jeff's closest friends went to the cemetery and had a little jam session in honor of him.

My cousin Judson playing a little blues for uncle Jeff. Judson looks a lot like Jeff and sometimes i have to do a double take. I still can't really wrap my head around the fact that he's gone. :(


*Hailey went back to school today and lasted all day. I think its good for her to be back. Keeps her busy and her mind on other things. She's been sleeping with Jeff's old pajama pants and some pics of him. She continues to amaze me with the grace she is handling this all with. I on the other hand haven't been sleeping well. I manage to fall asleep fine it's staying asleep that is my problem. Hopefully that will get better soon.

For all of you out there that have children that are picky eaters you will understand my excitement about this. Tonight we had buttery garlic shrimp over rice with corn and broccoli...

And Hailey...

ATE IT!!!!!!!!!

Granted she picked every piece of rice off her shrimp before eating it because...oh, I don't know the sun and the moon might explode if she eats them together...but, she ATE IT!! Small victories people small victories!!

From the paper....

Jeffrey Alan Bell, 34, of Port Arthur /Groves passed away on Thursday, September 17, 2009, at The Medical Center of Southeast Texas in Port Arthur with his loving family at his side.Jeff was born on January 6, 1975, in Port Arthur, Texas to Ada Jean Broussard Bell and Willie Bell. He lived in the Port Arthur area all of his life and was a member of St. James Catholic Church in Port Arthur. He was a 1993 graduate of Thomas Jefferson High School and a 1995 graduate from the Art Institute of Houston with a degree in Visual and Audio Communications. He worked for KBMT and KJAC news station and was an artist and a gifted musician. At the age of 10 he was given his first guitar and from that point on music became his greatest passion. He was a very accomplished musician, playing everything from rock to classical, rhythm and blues, from lead and bass guitar to the Dobro. If it had strings Jeff could play it!!! Jeff was also a talented drummer. He was well known in music circles from Port Arthur-Beaumont to Austin and was a member of various local bands including Clover, Smackdown Junction, Honeytongue and the original The Kinship band. Survivors include his daughters, Hailey and Lauren Bell and their mother Heather Peake Bell, all of Groves; sisters Kathy Bell, Patty Duran and Louise Townsend and her husband Don all of San Angelo; brothers, Bryan Bell and his wife Tammy of Arroyo Grande, California, Darren Bell and his wife Tanya of Port Arthur; father and mother in law Calvin and Ester Thompson, brother-in-law William Peake, all of Port Acres; uncles Tracy Broussard of Houston, Ronald Broussard and wife Sharon of Nederland; aunts Agnes Landry of Groves, Annie Ruth Faulk of Port Arthur; numerous nieces, nephews, cousins, in-laws and his music family The Kinship. Jeff was preceded in death by his parents Willie and Jean Bell; his step father Gilbert Fontenot; maternal grandparents, Enola and Telesphore Broussard; and paternal grandparents Elfrey and Annie Bell. A Mass of Christian Burial will be conducted at 1:00 p.m. Saturday, September 19, 2009, at St. James Catholic Church in Port Arthur with burial to follow at Greenlawn Memorial Park in Groves, Texas. A gathering of friends and family will take place from 5:00 p.m. until 9:00 p.m. Friday, September 18, 2009, at Grammier-Oberle Funeral Home in Port Arthur.The family would like to extend their heartfelt gratitude to the Physicians and Hospital Staff of The Medical Center for the compassion and care shown to Jeffrey during his courageous battle with heart disease. In lieu of flowers “Memorial Contributions” can be made to the American Heart Association at 7415 Eastex Plaza Drive, Beaumont, TX 77708-4800.

HE GIVES AND TAKES AWAY

Last night my sweet cousin Dane and his wife Michelle welcomed their first child. A beautiful son that they named Gage Paul Hollier. He is beautiful and perfect and i can't wait to meet him.

Look at those cheeks....scrumptious!!!!

This morning I got the call that Jeff went to be with Jesus. I can't believe he is really gone. No matter how much i tried to prepare myself for this it seems it was in vain. In the words of Hailey "my heart burns". Telling that sweet child that her daddy was dead was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I wish I could take all of her pain from her and take it upon myself. She cried for a long time when I first told her and then had lots of questions but since then has not cried again. She is handling it with so much grace for someone her age and I can only thank those that are praying for her, me and the rest of my family. We have some tough days ahead. We head home tomorrow morning bright and early to make it there in time for the visitation. Then the funeral is Saturday. Hailey has written her daddy a letter and we will attach it to balloons and let it go at the funeral for the winds to carry up to heaven to him. Please keep us in your prayers...we need it.

This picture is a few years old but I love it!!!

Jeff you had one of the sweetest gentle loving spirits. You reminded me alot of Pop and I know he would have been proud of you. I still haven't wrapped my head around the fact that I will never hear your cute little giggle again, see you smile, watch you with your girls,or listen to you play the guitar. You were always more of a brother to me than an uncle and I will always laugh when I think about you running around as a kid in your underwear with your guitar using door knobs as a microphone. I promise to talk about you often and always let Hailey and Lauren know how much you loved them. I love you and will miss you everyday!!

p.s. Hailey is stoked that you get to meet Jimi Hendrix now. :)

KIM

My dear sweet friend/coworker Kim lost her long hard battle with cancer early this morning. My heart aches for her kids. Ecclesiastes 3 talks about there being a season for everything...apparently this is my season to weep and mourn. 2009 has not been so nice to me and my family. There is a song by a christian artist named Tim Hughes called "When Tears Fall" and this song had been swimming around in my head all morning since hearing the news. These lyrics ring so true for me at this time.

I've had questions, without answers

I've known sorrow, i have known pain

but theres one thing, that I'll cling to

you are faithful, Jesus your true
when hope is lost, I'll call you saviour

when pain surrounds, I'll call you healer

when silence falls, you'll be the song within my heart

in the lone hour, of my sorrow

through the darkest night of my soul

you surround me, and sustain me

my defender, forever more

when hope is lost, I'll call you saviour

when pain surrounds, I'll call you healer

when silence falls, you'll be the song within my heart

I will praise you, i will praise you

when the tears fall, still i will sing to you

i will praise you, Jesus praise you

Through the suffering still i will sing

Ecclesiastes 3:4 "a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance"

Now might be my time to weep and to mourn...but I will laugh and dance again!

I'll miss you Kim. You always had a smile for me even on your hardest of days. You put up a heck of a fight, but you don't have to fight anymore sweet friend. R.I.P

IM BACK...

So I'm back from my trip "home" i saw alot of this...

as well as the inside of my jeep and I would be fine with not even sitting in a car for at least a week. ha! Unfortunately, i will be right back in it bright and early getting the girl to school and myself to work.

This cross is on top of a big hill somewheres in between Fredericksburg and San Antonio. At night it has a big spot light on it and its quite pretty. It's one of the reasons I go this way on my drive home every time.

People are weird!! I still don't know what the heck it is...kinda looks like a shrek baby to me though. And just in case you're curious it was a cowboy driving that truck!! :)

In case you can't read that it says TWO WORDS...homemade fudge!! Do you even need to ask if i stopped??

Skyline of Houston in my side mirror. Time spent in car at that point approximately 6 hrs.

Still in Houston...isn't it amazing what we can build? This picture doesn't do this justice at all...but this is part of what we call the spaghetti bowl...all these cris crossing bridges and such. Crazy right??

I get excited when i see this sign...it means I'm getting close!!

505.5 TRIP MILES AND I FINALLY MADE IT!!

All a girl needs to accomplish such a feat...sunglasses, an ipod with all your favorite tunes and sunflower seeds of course.

I managed not to take a single picture with my camera once I got there but here are a few I swiped from my my parents camera.

me and the siblings

the rents @ the astros game.

My cute daddy being silly.

Some of the cousins got together and had dinner one night. (missed you Dane, Jake and Anthony)


The girls!!




This picture makes me smile. Dad and his boys!!


The sky's when i was leaving town this morning looked like this...

then the rain started....

It rained pretty much the whole way home. Which fit my mood honestly. It's not easy telling my family goodbye as it is. But to have to hug my brothers neck and know he is leaving to go to Iraq makes it considerably worse. Between that and worrying about Jeff I am emotionally burnt out. But then when i got back into town i saw THIS....

a RAINBOW!! Again, this picture doesn't do it justice it was HUGE!! And as soon as i saw it i immediately felt a little better and couldn't help but smile. Call me silly but it was just what i needed. I'm taking it as a sign from God that i need to just continue to trust in Him and everything will be okay. "In ALL things God works for the good of those that love Him" (Romans 8:28) ...not just the things that I like.

HOME

I leave for my 8 hour drive back "home" (as in where i grew up not where i live) in less than 48 hours and have packed...NOTHING!! I always find myself throwing stuff in my suitcase at the last possible second which undoubtedly leads to me getting 500 miles away and having forgot something. Procrastination...(sigh) do they make a pill for that? Anyways I'm going see this handsome guy....
my brother Chris. He's visiting the family from New York before he gets shipped out for his second tour in Iraq. I'm super excited to see him. I can't wait to stay up all hours of the night just hanging out talking and playing board games like old times. Which will undoubtedly lead to a fight because we will bust him trying to cheat. :) Out of all us kids (there's 4 of us) he was ALWAYS the cheater. I have big plans to annoy him in every way I can as is my God given right as his big sister. What is it about going home to your parents house that reverts you back to a teenager? Hide the booze mom and dad your kids are coming home!!

p.s. football season starts this Saturday people!!! woot!! woot!!

UPDATE

Some of you know me and my family and know all about my uncle Jeff and all the health problems he's been having lately. While some of you may just happen upon this little blog by accident. So on the chance that those of you who may fall into that category are praying people I'll give you a little back history. Plus, this little blog here is a great form of therapy. And it's free....F-R-E-E!! :) I rarely call Jeff "uncle" Jeff he's only 6 years older than me (he's 33) so he's more like a brother than an uncle. Sometime in February he began to feel "bad". He never had any energy had a persistent cough and just felt plain yucky. This went on for some time since he didn't have any insurance after losing his job in December. Around the end of April he began coughing up blood which prompted him to go to the E.R. where he was then admitted to the hospital and put in quarantine. At first they believed he had tuberculosis. This was later ruled out by blood work but they still didn't know what it was so he was kept in quarantine for a few weeks. Long story short(er) we eventually found out he had an infection that attacked his heart valve which in turn caused fluid to build up in his lungs among other things. It was decided that he needed to have said valve replaced but before this could be done the infection had to be treated. Antibiotics were started to treat the infection which caused other problems like not being able to hold food down etc. On top of dealing with all this my grandmother (Jeff's mom) was also basically going into liver failure after starting chemo to fight her 3rd bout with cancer. Around June 11th she was moved to a Hospice hospital. My mother and her brothers and sisters took turns being with her (someone was always with her) and visiting Jeff. Fast forward 4 days later to June 15th. My cell phone rings while I'm at work. It's my little sister telling me that Jeff has coded. They manage to get him stabilized and moved to ICU. I struggle with being 500 miles away while all of this is going on. My cousin Ian's wedding is planned for June 27th and I already have vacation time planned and scheduled to head home on the 25th. June 23rd my aunt Louise holds the phone up to my grandmothers ear. I tell her that I love her and that I will see her soon. Wednesday, June 24th, my grandmother went to be with Jesus. The woman I respected and loved most in the world is gone. I struggle with her absence daily but the Lords mercies are new every morning. As a family we rallied together and depended on each other for strength and did exactly as she would have wanted us to do and celebrated life, love and the marriage of my cousin Ian. She was there with us in spirit and despite our grief (as us Cajuns say) "we passed a good time". :) On Monday, June 29th we laid the beautiful Ada Jean to rest next to our "pop". She had an all pink funeral in honor of her brave fight with cancer. And our dear family friend Jude played a cajun waltz on the accordion for her to dance to heaven to. Later family and friends gathered together at my uncle Darren's house to eat and fellowship and remember. Around 10 pm we receive a phone call from the hospital telling us that Jeff has to have emergency surgery to put a stint in his leg. His heart is weak and therefore not able to pump enough blood to his legs so if they didn't do the surgery he could lose his leg. We okay the surgery of course and some of us race up to the hospital. They do the surgery and have positive results fairly quickly. The surgery to replace the valve in his heart is scheduled for the next day. It's weird but i hardly remember that day. I think i was emotionally drained by that point and my mind kind of shut itself off or something. I can vaguely remember getting updates of things like they were having trouble getting his heart to start beating on its own again and not being able to get him off the vent. He made it through and immediately after the surgery he looked better. He didn't have that look of being on deaths door anymore his color was better and we as a family took a collective sigh of relief. Fast forward to today. Jeff had been out of the hospital for four days. This was his second time to be discharged the first time he was out for 3 days and was put back in because he couldn't keep any food down. Last night my aunt Patty went to wake him up to eat some supper. He told her he wasn't feeling to good and wasn't hungry but that he wanted some juice. When he went to grab the glass from her she noticed his hand was shaking so she decided to take his blood sugar. It was 42. She made him drink some more juice and fed him some pudding and checked it again fifteen minutes later. It had went up to like 49. Normal for most of us is between 80 and 110. The ambulance came and picked him up and by the time he reached the hospital it was 22. He was admitted back into ICU. He then stopped breathing on his own and had to be put back on a vent. The doctors told us his lungs were "wet" which is why he was having a hard time breathing. He is basically suffering from congestive heart failure i guess. So, that's where we stand at this point. So like I said at the beginning of this post if you pray and would like to send up some prayers in bold faith asking for healing it would be much appreciated. Pray for his doctors and nurses. Pray for his two precious girls who miss him and can't wait for their daddy to be able to come home. Thanks!!

p.s. Wow, this is long!! If you read all of that you are AWESOME!!